Get My Sparkle Back

‘Hey Alexa, how do I write a blog post that will draw the single and/or struggling individuals to my page? Preferably in a similar way to how I’m drawn to the most expensive piece of clothing in every retail store, despite my minimum wage paychecks that barely cover current fuel prices?’.

I’ve basically thought of every angle for how I can approach the introduction to my first blog. Researched about the different ways to introduce myself to future potential readers. I’ve made lists of possible opening lines and read far too many other blogs to try and draw inspiration for my own. In case you haven’t noticed by now, I’m an overthinker. I go into no situation blindly and as someone who has suffered with anxiety since childhood, I’m a master at various breathing techniques that are supposed to help me survive social events. I finally somehow decided to start my introduction this way because I consider Alexa to be all knowing in a creepy, technology is taking over kind of way. Also, because my main goal for this blog is to talk about my experiences with mental health and remaining single in a world that continues to push this narrative that we won’t be truly happy until we dramatically fall into the muscular arms of our ‘other half’ (Something I’d be totally down to participate in if said arms were attached to Dylan Obrien’s body). Allow me to elaborate.

I’m a single, 20 something woman with a history of depression and anxiety, I have no clue what it’s like to have even an average amount of iron and at the start of last year I was diagnosed with Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). In other words, my psychologist doesn’t have to worry about losing my fortnightly pay checks anytime soon and my emotional support cat never clocks off. 2022 was my worst year so far (knock on wood), despite this I am determined to, as my generation likes to call it ‘get my sparkle back’. I want this year to be the beginning of a journey dedicated to filing my own cup back up. From trialling self-care routines and reading various self-development books to navigating my anxiety and depression through all of life’s aspects, including but not limited to travel, social situations, dating, single life and how I view myself. Side note, if anyone knows how to survive and/or cope with modern dating, please send help, preferably in the form of a detailed 12 step program. I have every intention of celebrating the next new year with a deeper understanding and empathy towards myself. Through this process I will share what does and doesn’t work for me as well as the lessons I learn along the way. Come on this journey with me as I learn to face my fears and live my life to the fullest, even if my anxiety is screaming at me (she does that a lot) to simply stay in the safety of my bedroom, my depression lending a helping hand from time to time (we love a supportive queen). I’d also love to find a way to overcome this fatigue that seems to plague my existence more often than not, because at this point, I want a refund, I’m literally 21 and am way too young to be tired by 2pm every day.

I can’t wait to see where this adventure takes me, to see how far I can go. I hope this blog can be a way for me to document this experience while also holding myself accountable to continue pushing forward. I personally find it validating to know I’m not the only one going through something, my hope is that through the sharing of my experiences I can perhaps do the same for others. For those of you struggling in whatever way, know that you aren’t alone. Same goes for those who choose to remain single, refusing to settle for anything less than what they deserve and focusing on learning to be comfortable in their own company. 2023 Is going to be our year (knock on wood), and I know that we are already in June, but it took me approximately 6 months of meditations, positive self-talk, and therapy to actually work myself up to posting this. Anxiety, am I right? Anyways, let’s do this! (Eye of the Tiger starts playing as we dramatically walk towards a future where we don’t cancel plans last minute because that would involve leaving the house and talking to people).